Everyone's eyes are on me

I think that it’s funny when a show or movie or book about teenagers revolves around self discovery and the finding of oneself.

I always knew who I was, whether I was ready or not. Maybe the taunts and jeers of kids in grade school shaped the slant of my eyes, or maybe the smell of the pho churning my burger-filled belly at home whitened my skin.

I always knew who I was, because I had no alternative. I was apologetically myself, with the face of a foreigner but the words of an American.

I remember where I was when I got the news:

A spa in Atlanta was shot;

Eight dead in an attack on salon in Alabama;

Fears of anti-Asian motives;

Six Asian women slaughtered.

They say that the man

Wanted to get rid of the “temptation” he felt.

They say that the man

Had a strong case of yellow fever.

They say that the man

Was not racist,

But an addict.