What the next chapter holds

This year has taught me a lot of things. How to grow as a person through relationships and how I present myself. The number of clothes I’ve bought to fit the ever changing fashion trends and the youtube makeup tutorials to perfect natural glam. The number of times I’ve felt feelings that I couldn’t pinpoint and couldn’t explain but maybe there is a reason it is like that. This year I have lost relationships but gained some that have forever made me thankful for their friendship and blessed that I can enter the new year with them. Through my constant feelings of needing to fit unrealistic standards, I’ve taught myself I can never be satisfied trying to mold myself into someone else. I can never be satisfied chasing an unrealistic lifestyle that God hasn’t given to me. Because even with a closet full of clothes I always feel like I need more and a rack of shoes I’m still looking for more and searching the isles of Sephora for the next best product. And even though I have become aware of the way I can never be satisfied that is only the first step. I hope with this next chapter I can change how I view myself. I hope that I can unlearn the need for validation from others to feel secure and always have to look at others to make a decision for myself. I hope this new year helps me grow and mature as a young black woman and bring a wave of self-love with it.